The biggest difference is intent, which is often difficult to perceive
There is a fine line between successfully complimenting a colleague and sexually harassing them. Harassment does only refer to instances of groping attack or requests for sexual favours. It can also be perceived through tasteless and suggestive remarks. A special pitfall is compliments – because they are important motivational factors in a professional environment, but at the same time also problematic if the person giving the compliment fails to formulate them correctly.
Google’s definition of a compliment is "a polite expression of praise or admiration," and "polite" is really the key word there. When you compliment someone, you are treating them with dignity. Sexual harassment, however, is defined (also by Google) as a situation that involves “the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks.”
The biggest difference between harassment and compliments is intent. If you genuinely want to make someone feel good and understand your appreciation then you are in the compliment arena. Compliments are typically given when trying to establish a connection and a feeling of trust. An expression of appreciation lets someone know when you have noticed their effort and admire what they have done.
The hashtag #MeToo is currently creating solidarity among thousands of women in the US who have been sexually harassed in the workplace.
There are, however, certain aspects of your appreciation that women may not want to hear. Compliments regarding appearance, for instance, are particularly dicey. Men are often taught that women like to hear positive things about their looks. Noticing new hairstyles or a becoming outfit are examples of actions that were once considered flattery but are now an area filled with possible pitfalls as it becomes difficult to distinguish between an honest, innocent compliment and a remark that carries more devious undertones.
The best way to tell the difference between a compliment and sexual harassment is to gauge the reaction of the recipient. If they seem flattered, you're probably complimenting them. If they look away or seem uncomfortable, you may be unknowingly harassing them, even if you didn't mean to.
